One of my favorite movies is “About A Boy” for various reasons. In many ways, it is a coming-of-age story for both the young child in the film and also for the grown up man. In many ways, I appreciated observing the man, because I found a great many similarities between his character and my own life. Another favorite movie is “Up In The Air” with George Clooney. A good friend of mine suggested I watch the movie, curious to see what my reaction would be. Rather than finding the end scene to be sad, I found the movie to be an excellent interpretation of how I’d like my life to pan out. Now that you know a few of my favorite movies, I’ll continue.
The coming of age story is one that simply won’t die, because all of us latch on to it in some way or another. These stories often show us the events that help ‘make’ the man; an unexpected lay, getting high, escape, adventure, or risk. I don’t think these moments are what makes the man, as I’ve experienced these and don’t feel any more manly. Somebody once said that having a penis simply make you a male; it does not make you a man. I agree completely.
Sitting here in my favorite Starbucks, the location where 100% of my blogs have been written since moving to Los Angeles, I am pondering the next steps of my life. It appears the next phase of my life will be moving me down south. It’s pure excitement and adventure, as I know the next steps are far from promised. You’re never going to reach the proverbial promised land if you don’t step outside of Egypt. Los Angeles is most certainly not Egypt; I happen to love this place. More on this later.
If bells ring every time an angel gets his wings, I can only wonder what noise there is when a boy becomes a man. I can assure you it’s not the sound of a V12 firing up.
People ask me if I’ve ever fallen in love, for exploratory purposes, yet I feel it’s also to see if it is, in fact, possible. I’ve fallen in love many times, with things I’ve purchased and/or wanted. Of course, that’s not what people want to know about. They want to know if I’ve fallen in love with another person. I’ll answer this question in a few sentences, and then keep from writing about it for an indefinite period of time.
As Alice said, I could tell you of my adventures yesterday, but it wouldn’t do much good. I am a different person now than who I was yesterday.
Yes, I have fallen in love. During the time I fell in love, it seemed as if life was coming together very well. Having everything put together, with greater steps leading towards the future. I’ll spare the details of my life at that time, as I’d rather not look back nor identify the person.
And I fell in love with her. She was everything I wanted in a person, at that time. I use the term “at that time” because just as her and I have both changed dramatically since that time period, so did my expectation of what I was looking for in a woman. But yet, for that time period, things were great. Unfortunately, we both fell in love at a time where both of our lives were in stages of serious transition. As we transitioned and moved ahead in our lives, we fell out out of love just as quickly as we had fallen into it.
You often realize you’ve fallen in love by the pain level you experience when it ends. That’s how I first discovered it was possible to fall in love. The pain we experience is often a good reminder of the wonder we are capable of experiencing.
That wasn’t the only time I’ve fallen in love. But we will not discuss the second – and only – person. That’s not for this lifetime.
I often get into discussions about this idea of love with others who believe I have not experienced it. It’s much easier to let the other person believe I’ve yet to find love than it is to tell them I don’t care enough about them to tell them the truth. People often prefer the simple answers to the truth. Truth can be a bit of a burden to carry. Cold and heartless or out of concern for others? You be the judge.
Yesterday, I wanted to go to the beach. So I went to El Matador beach in Malibu, CA. To call the place “beautiful” would be an understatement of its wonder. As I made my way across the beach, painful rocks got in the way of me walking quickly. Thus, each step had to be made cautiously. Seeing others around, I saw a large rock wall that seemed to separate the beach, and I wondered what was on the other side. Being the idiot that I am, I carried my cell phone in my backpack, making me triply concerned about each step I had. One slip into the water and I’m replacing a $600 phone.
Well, I made it through not just one, but two rock walls. The second one was much more difficult to maneuver than the first. It was worth every second. A private beach, occupied by none other than myself. When you have to pick a spot to sit out of desire, rather than availability, you realize just how much of your life is often dictated by this circumstance. You also begin to wonder just how different your life would be if you had more opportunities to be selective over what you wanted, rather than what was first available.
Sitting on the beach, I found an instant sense of admiration with the ocean. Now, I’ll be honest with you…the ocean terrifies me. I’m scared to death of sharks. Time to get over the fear, Plaat.
So I hopped into the ocean and swam around. “Chest level water is where most shark attacks occur” was going through my mind. As soon as I got to this point, I had a difficult time breathing because of the fear. This was the indicator, to me, that I needed to swim further. So, I waded out until I couldn’t touch the bottom with my legs. Surrender to the elements. Let your fear fuel you. It was a moment to be remembered.
There were no others to appreciate this moment. And I wouldn’t want to share that moment with anybody. It was mine to keep, remember, and repeat.
I don’t hold anybody else to my own standard of living, nor would I want to. Everybody ought to make their own life a reflection of what they have in their heart. This is simply a trace description of my own.
If you want to fall in love, go do it and make no apologies for it. I wish you the best of success. If you appreciate time spent alone, I pray you find it satisfying. If you enjoy being a bookworm, I pray you explore the best libraries you may come across. Whatever your fancy, we ought to push ourselves to reach the best version of what it is that we desire.
A minute of perfection could only last for one moment. One couldn’t expect much more from perfection.
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