If any of you have lived long enough, it’s likely that you’ve engaged in some sort of debate with somebody that’s unreasonable. I don’t think that having a heated point of view makes somebody unreasonable, as much as somebody who is unwilling to change their position even when presented with solid facts that counter it.
For example, if somebody were to wear a pair of rose-colored glasses, they might be included to think that every object in the world has a hue of rose/red. Yet, if those glasses are removed and the person can now clearly see the world around them, as it is, they no longer have a reason to view the world as they once did – or describe it as such.
In my life, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and even gone so far as to take incorrect positions on certain topics, belief systems of ways in which I spent my time. As the years progressed, the proverbial rose-colored glasses began to come off in my life and demanded that I reshape the way in which I moved forward.
Before engaging in any sort of divisive topic, I think it’s helpful to ensure both parties (including yourself) are willing to dramatically change their point of view if they are presented with facts that counter it. This is debate 101, in my opinion, and it ensures the time spent discussing a matter is productive for both parties.
I don’t see this sort of methodology applied to most topics in the world right now. Rather, polarizing topics are held by individuals that seek to affirm their own hypothesis/belief system, rather than question their ideals and see if they can stand up to critical thinking, facts and data.
Data can be a slippery slope, too. For years, the feminist movement has looked at certain demographics of men and used those statistics to justify their position that the world is male-slanted. For example, 22% of C-Suite positions are held by women (as of 2021) and thus, there’s a sweeping belief that the playing fields need to be equalized through DEI types of initiatives.
93.8% of construction workers are men. I don’t see rallying cries to somehow level the playing field when it comes to putting on a hard hat.
I share this because I think it’s important to understand the consequence of selective reasoning and data interpretation. The most radical thing a feminist could do to level the playing field is don a hard hat and join the ranks of labor workers who wake up at 3am to build our roads.
I recently saw a lawsuit being waged against a school, that demanded a student stop raising a “straight pride” flag on their flagpole. This flag wasn’t discriminatory. Rather, it was an equal token to show heterosexual pride alongside the rainbow ‘gay pride’ flag the school chose to fly. Was the lawsuit appropriate? I believe so. You’re welcome to have your own thoughts on this matter.
I believe it’s an important time to develop your own beliefs and viewpoints about the world around you, and live a life that’s in accordance to your values. I also believe that your values ought to withstand questioning, criticism and different points of view. If the values are able to make it through those gauntlets with a pass, then it implies there’s something true about them.
There are many people in the world who believe you can never ‘transition’ to become the opposite sex you were born with. I am one of them. I also don’t believe that sticking feathers up my butt will make me a chicken anymore than taping feathers to my arm will allow me to fly. There are certain biological constraints in our world that are as black and white as knowing you will get burnt if you stick a naked body part into a furnace.
It’s a dangerous thing when positions like this somehow fast-track you into being painted as somebody who is hateful, unkind or somehow toxic. Different points of view are one of the foundational bases on which a democracy is built – and respectful dialogue should be given to both sides, regardless of their viewpoint.
Respect doesn’t mean you have to agree with somebody, either. Respect can mean many things, but I believe one of the core foundations of respect is giving somebody with a different point of view the space and time to present their position, while giving them the same open mind you hope they hear your position from. That’s the only way ideas can formulate and grow.
If it’s unkind and cruel to believe that only women can become pregnant, I might ask – is it unkind to look at men and say they are all proponents of ‘toxic masculinity’ and place the word ‘toxic’ on an entire sex?
On the realm of toxic masculinity, I have yet to find one person that can provide me with examples of ‘bad human behavior’ that are only known to the male species. Rather, I see certain elements of ‘bad behavior’ pushed toward men with the idea that they should apologize for it.
E.g. “Men talk over women.”
Do men talk over other men? Yes.
Do women talk over men? Yes.
Do women talk over women? Yes.
Given that line of thought, I think we can go back to the idea that ‘talking over’ is somehow only native to the male demographic. I think if you follow that thought process through a lot of the accusations of toxic masculinity, you’ll have a very difficult time finding anything that is inherent and native only to men.
It’s a mad, mad, mad world out there and I believe that destructive narratives can only be defeated by asking constructive questions, having open dialogue and being willing to keep your position on topics only as firm as the factual foundation they are built upon.
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