Wake up, Plaat.
There are times where I’ve come to harsh realizations in this life, that have shocked and appalled me. Often, these moments do little other than cause me immense amounts of inner pain, as conclusions are forcefully rammed down my throat about the cruel reality we see on this earth. I’ve often hoped for the best in others, though I rarely see it. Perhaps I’ve been living a life similar to the Disney Princess, who eagerly awaits the saving from her prince charming; I like to think things in life can be as realistic as my idealistic view of life.
Wake up, Plaat. The world is not getting any better. In fact, things are getting much worse. Ever since the fateful day where the fall of man occurred, mankind has been in a constante state of free-fall, with no chances of things getting any better. You cannot fix a beautiful vase once it has been smashed with a metal bat. You cannot fix a broken world of mankind when it has already been smashed to smithereens. Excellent word, champ.
Even if the circumstances in my life happen to change, I cannot change the fact that the world is still full of misery, hunger, and brokenness. In the big picture, things are not going to improve. The idealistic, optimistic, never-tasted-reality individual that thinks they can change the world is, quite frankly, delusional. You can’t change the world. The best you can do is make soe impact on the world that is around you. Oftentimes, this goes away once you die. Screw Mark Zuckerberg, Martha Stewart, and Oprah Winfrey; we think of these people as those who have truly done something. What have they done? What in the world are you ever going to do with your life when you live in a broken world?
The voice inside of me that screams at me to give up will simply not be silenced. I am at a constant inner battle between accepting the fact that we live in a broken world that will only continue to kick me in the shins and knock me, and those I love, down on their faces, and wondering if things are really going to change in this life.
I have reached a point where I’ve been crushed to pieces. The only thing keeping me together is the hope that somehow my life will be able to benefit those I love, rather than simply being a burden on their shoulders. I’ve done the crime – I ought to do the time. I knew December was going to be a rough month, but there was nothing that could have prepared me for this.
Do I trust in God? Absolutely. There is nothing about my struggled or pain that will diminish from His glory. However, even King David spoke of the nights where his pillow was stained with tears. It’s been a rare night in the past few weeks that my eyes have stayed dry. There is simply too much on my mind. What burdens me is the lingering question of what I will do with the life I’ve been given. My heart yearns to do the extraordinary, yet I seem to get knocked down on such a repeated basis.
Give up, Plaat.
I can’t. Part of me will not give up because I know it is not my decision to give up. The other part will not give up because I know even if I give up, things will not change. In light of the face that everything in me wants to throw in the towel, I simply cannot. Others have succeeded through worse opposition than I am currently facing, and it would be a shame to myself and those I love to give up at this point in the game. Press on. Persistence will carry even the least intelligent and unlikely heros among us to the finish line, whatever that may be.
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