Today, I failed a little girl in a parking lot. I’m not proud to admit this, but I held myself back as I watched her mother verbally assault her on their way outside of a local business, and it’s been on my mind ever since the incident happened.
I spent the afternoon/evening with Atlas, and had plans to see some of the local holiday events in a local downtown suburb.
As I was putting Atlas in the car, he gave his infamous “I need privacy” phrase, which means he needed a minute to poop without being interrupted. Once he finished, I took him to the back of the SUV and began to change his diaper.
Mid-wipe, I saw a woman coming outside with her daughter, and the first thing I heard was:
“SHUT YO ASS UP. YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME!” And she then proceeded to continue to yell and scream at the little girl who was bawling her eyes out.
My hands were full (literally) and I found myself watching the scenario unfold in front of my eyes. They got into their car and I finished changing the diaper.
The girl couldn’t have been more than 8 years-old, and I couldn’t stop repeating the scenario in my mind.
No child should ever be told “SHUT YO ASS UP” and verbally abused in the manner I saw. However, I wrestled with whether or not it was ‘my place’ to step in and say something.
It was.
Were somebody physically/sexually assaulting a child, I would have absolutely no hesitation in running over to stop the act. Yet, in this case I held my tongue, and I shouldn’t have.
It pains me as I write this, because that little girl needed somebody to step in and say something – and remind her that she was worth it, because her own mother was failing at doing so. Even worse, her mother was simply telling her that she wasn’t worth respecting or talking to with kindness, and it’s likely that with this sort of treatment, the girl will grow up and seek similar situations with others because that’s what feels normal to her.
I made a mistake because I treated the abuse as somehow ‘different’ than physical/sexual abuse. Yet, verbal abuse caused hideous damage to a child – as well as an adult. I’ve been on the receiving end of verbal abuse, and I will tell you that it hurt me far more than any punch, kick, throw or takedown I ever took during the years I trained in mixed martial arts.
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will deeply hurt me.
I made a promise to myself tonight that if I ever encounter something like this again, I won’t be a silent observer, because innocent children have a right to be protected when their own caretakers fails to do so – or are the ones causing them harm.
When I was little, I was at the zoo with my Mom, and I saw a little girl wearing a ‘child harness’ – to which I blurted out to my Mom:
“She no dog.”
That little girl today is also no dog. She’s valuable, priceless, innocent and worth sticking up for, and no parent should ever speak to their children in a manner that will cause them deep hurts, pains or psychological damage as adults.
Adults are no different than children, and should be spoken to with the same level of respect, care and caution. I’m still the same soul that I was as a child – I just grew older, taller and physically stronger – but my heart is still just as soft…
…and so is yours.
No Comments