Plunge

Years ago, I watched one of my now-favorite movies for the first time. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a timeless tale about time, life, love and happiness.

”It’s never too late – or in my case, too early – to be who you want to be. There are no rules to this thing…”

For over ten years, I’ve received a weekly reminder to watch a short clip from the film at 8pm every Friday night. It’s served as a reminder to live in a similar way.

That scene was the inspiration for my book to Atlas…although I never anticipated I would write from such a similar vantage point as the main character.

As a child, I wanted to be a lot of different things, as well as try my hand at a slew of adventures. I loved rockstars, bodybuilders, motorcycles and anything that went fast. As an adult, I reached a point where I was suddenly able to try and experience these things, and it made me feel like a kid again – only an empowered one.

I never went to a public school. In fact, I can count the number of times I’ve been inside of one on my hands, feet and nails. Not a lot. However, I felt something akin to going to a new school whenever I tried my hand at new hobbies or adventures. I was scared.

Motorcycles have always appealed to me. However, I will never forget the moment I decided to hop on one and put it into gear for the first time…

It was terrifying.

Suddenly, the roar of the engine felt more like a dragon intent on killing me, and I had a hard time telling if the shaking I felt in my limbs was from the M50 or from my own trembling.

“I’m gonna need a really good soundtrack…”

I threw on “Snakebite” and kicked the bike into gear for the most terrifying 30 seconds of my life. It felt like riding a bull, and I wanted to tame it.

When you’re in a moment like that, everything in you wants to regain some sense of control. By default, your system naturally wants to return to a quiet, still and safe position. The back of a motorcycle is anything but that; it’s like flying into the center of a storm.

The first time I opened the throttle on “Snakebite” – the name I gave the M50 – I remember the pure satisfaction I felt when I pulled back on the metal grip and felt the bike roar to life with deep, powerful rumbles that pulled me deep into the leather seat. It was like a horsepower erection, for lack of a better description.

I felt something in that moment that I wanted to experience since I was a child; the thrill of riding a motorcycle…and going fast. 

The faster I went, the more I felt this thrill of being between the unknown; life and death, shaken and stirred to make an intoxicating cocktail, and I wanted more of that loud drink.

Since becoming a Dad, I’ve made the decision to stop riding 2-wheeled motorcycles. The only exception to this rule is the day I ride my own Trident motorcycle.

When I was first introduced to the Trident project, I didn’t understand what it felt like to ride a motorcycle. At that point my my life, I hadn’t even ridden a scooter. As a result, I didn’t understand the insatiable drive and love that fuels riders.

Once I took my first ride, I quickly understood. Riding motorcycles isn’t about transportation, it’s about freedom.

Most of the time, I’ve found something incredible on the other side of my fears. Enjoyment, bliss and the satisfaction in knowing that something that used to be scary now feels comfortable and known.

Last night, I decided it was finally time to practice ‘dropping in’ to a ramp at the skatepark. Before bed, I stretched and tried to mentally prepare for the moment. I woke up at 5:30 and all I could think about was working up the courage to go to the park and take the plunge.

I took nearly an hour and a half to work my way to the park, and I decided to warm up on a few smaller ramps before attempting the drop-in; an 8-10ft concrete ramp that fed into the center of the park.

I stood at the top of the ramp and looked down. It looked a lot higher and steeper than I thought, and I questioned whether or not ‘today was the day’ to roll down the concrete.

”It’s never too late to be who you want to be…”

I gathered up my courage and took the plunge. The next thing I knew, I was racing down the ramp and shot rapidly through the park. It felt incredible, and I wanted to do it again…and I did, over and over again. Each time I dropped down, I felt more confident and increased my speed.  Eventually, the fear of dropping in subsided and the exhilaration of momentum quickly took its place.

I can think of a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t go to a skate park. I’m 35, recently overcame a debilitating back injury and the ‘smart’ thing to do would be to stay away from anything vertical. What makes me push through these objections is knowing that someday Atlas will be old enough to skate at the park, and he’s going to need a guide to teach him how to do it safely – I want to be that guide.

I fell twice this morning. Each time I fell, my pads left black marks in the concrete. While the falling wasn’t fun, I now look at those black streaks as a source of encouragement at how far I’ve come, and I think that life is full of these little moments.

Great things in life don’t happen overnight. They take a lot of time, patience and falls before the highlight reel ever get shot. In the end, it’s all worth it.