Play

One of my favorite things about playing a musical instrument is the moment where I get lost in the music. There’s an intricate dance between a musical instrument and the person playing it; one can’t shine without the other – a poorly-made instrument can fill a performance hall when played by a maestro.

…a maestro can’t even stop passer-bye’s when they play in the halls of a subway station, rather than at a sold-out venue charging $1,000 a seat. The irony.

This afternoon, I walked by my piano and realized I’ve walked by it too many times without sitting down to play. So, I stopped what I wasn’t doing and began to play a piece I’ve been working on. Eventually, I stopped playing the piece and instead chose to pick three notes to play, beginning in the key of C.

I worked my way up each scale, playing a similar series of patterns across they piano keys. I stunned myself. It sounded beautiful.

For the first time in my life, I improvised on a piano for more than 10 minutes and found myself ‘lost’ in an instrument I’ve never thought myself capable of playing properly.

In this case, “properly” means playing piano the way that my brother (Steve and Mark) do, which is something I’ve always admired about each of them, as they’ve both mastered the art of improvisation with music in a way that moves me.

For years, I’ve let this comparison get in the way of me stepping up and playing piano the way. While I don’t think there’s a single human being on the planet more talented than Steve on the piano (really), I don’t think he ever would have wanted my perception of him to get in the way of me trying my hand at improvising.

I think there’s a lot to learn from this lesson. Namely, recognizing some of the different ways that comparison can manifest itself in life and do its job of depriving you of your joy(s).

I think a lot about my not-so-little brother, Joshua when the topic of comparison comes up. We often chat, and he shares that he feels like he doesn’t measure up against the line of siblings in front of him. We’ve all turned out alright, while he’s still at the point of his life where he wonders if he will be…enough, successful, strong, capable, respected…the list could go on.

At his age, I think his fears of ‘becoming’ go with the territory. However, I try to remind him that who he is, as he is, is enough and incredible at the same time.

The older I get, the more I realize that life isn’t about playing by the rules of societal measures of success, but how authentic you can be to yourself to yourself – and others.

I think there’s a lot of hidden joy all over the place, just waiting to be discovered. This afternoon, I uncovered one of those little treasures when I chose to sit on my piano bench instead of my Aeron. The enjoyment began when I started playing as if the rules for piano weren’t applicable – not when I checked to see if my playing was on par with others who have spent considerably more time perfecting their craft.

Life happens when you break the rules, shatter the mold or go beyond your own limits of what you know.