Tomato. Tomato.
“December has always been a very hard month for me…”
It seems like not so long ago that I wrote those words. I’ve written that same phrase, in more words or less, almost every year for the past 4-5 years. It’s probably more like 6. Life is different now, but it doesn’t feel like I thought it would.
I’m getting older and enjoying it. I’ve been able to purge a lot of harmful thought processes and beliefs out of my system that were holding me back from enjoying life and living in the present moment of reality.
Things are happening so quickly that it feels like childhood and my teenage years were a distant memory. I spend more now on my groceries than I used to spend on rent. Traveling to distant cities is no longer a scary event – or a novelty. Fitness, health, and the desire to have a healthy diet are now more important to me than my craving for greasy fast food – which now gives me a horrible stomach ache and feelings of regret.
I have to ask myself if I’m happy with the life I live. And yes, I am. In fact, I am very happy and proud of the life I’ve built here. There were a lot of things that appeared to be ‘opportunities’ in the past that I can now see were horrible choices I’m happy to have avoided. Same thing applied for people, too.
On one of my first real relationships, my mother told me “Well, you know that problem now…you’ll never do better than her!” A breakup and realization that this ‘angel’ was little more than phony made me realize I had to follow my heart and gut more than what others said or believed.
We don’t have to be sheep, as I was once led to believe.
I just wannabe a sheep, bah bah bah…
Sheep, regardless of how cute and fluffy they are, are only raised by the shepherd so that he can use, profit, control, and…ultimately kill and eat them.
I don’t wanna be a sheep, nah nah nah nah.
I can’t speak for those who willingly give up their decision making ability and free-will. It’s not my place to judge, nor do I want to. I am simply happy that my life no longer resembles that lifestyle, and that my happiness, virtue, morality, success, love, and quality of life is intentional and exists because I choose to make it so, rather than waiting for it to happen.
This holiday season, I feel fortunate to have the gift of family, friends, success, and love.
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