Off in the distance
Bloodied but wise
As you squint with the light of the truth in your eyes
And I saw you
Both hands were raised
And I saw your lips move in praise
And I saw you steady your gaze
For the finish line
Every idol like dust
A word scattered them all
And I rose to my feet when you scaled the last wall
And I gasped
When I saw you fall
In his arms
At the finish line
Hunger. How do you artificially inseminate a burning passion, craving for success, and drive where it does not fully exist? I think of Raymond K. Hessel, making a choice at the end of a gun to make something of his life. Fictional character or reality? If we had the gun at the back of our heads, would we make the same choice?
We do not have a gun to our heads, necessarily. But, I can say that we are all on the fast track to putting a foot in the grave; none of us will ever live quite as long as we’d like to. These seventy-five years we are given are but a drop of water in the ocean of eternity. We were made for eternity. We ultimately have three choices in this life: Live, die, or survive. It does little good to go into explanations of these choices.
While speaking to a good friend, I realized just what type of hunger it is that I must have in order to become successful. Successful, in my book, is much different than the worldly standard of success, mind you. While we talked, I realized this game is much like a racetrack.
Many individuals are in the spectator stands, cheering on those who are in the track. Some are in the nosebleeds, while others are up close and can feel the fumes of the cars as they scream by. However, those on the inside of the track are fighting for their very lives; chasing a dream and not looking at those in the stands. They are focussed on the task at hand.
Suddenly, the race track becomes quiet, the crowds freeze in their place, and a referee pulls you out of your spot in the stands and asks you to come to the track. In front of you is a beautiful car, primed and ready for the race. In his hands are the keys. He explains the rules:
1.) You may enter this race, but you will have to leave behind everybody in the stands.
2.) You may use whatever tools and resources you would like for your car.
3.) You may select who you want to be on your pit crew.
He explains to me that the race can be won, even though there are far more experienced drivers on the track; there will be those who have been driving for many years who will be pitted up against me. However, he says that my car is newer than theirs, and that my natural skill set can be used as an advantage.
I am advised to carefully select a solid pit crew that will support me and provide me with wisdom and guidance as the race progresses; they know the track better than I do and can counsel me as I move along.
He also explains to me that in order to win this race, I must be willing to sacrifice everything, be willing to put myself in last place so that I may rise to first place, and forever give up the life of one who is in the stands. I ask why I was selected from the masses in the stands to come onto the track and have the opportunity to drive this car. He tells me that everybody in the stands will be offered this position, but very few are willing to make the final sacrifice to drive the car. “What’s the sacrifice?” I ask.
He tells me “If you win, all of your goals, dreams, and ambitions will be realized in this life. You will have more than you ever could have imagined. And you will realize the sacrifice was, in hindsight, worth every second of the struggle. But, this is not a game you can lose.”
“What happens if I lose?”
“Behind your seat is a handgun that will go off if even a single person crosses the finish line before you do.”
Safety and security or the opportunity to have the achievement of all my life goals? It is a difficult decision.
From the safety and security of my mind, I can tell you that I want, more than anything, to take a ride in this car and enter the race. However, these past few months have taught me that I lack the hunger required to succeed. My drive and passion for success is not nearly strong enough. And I have too many frailties on my own part to do what is required to step into the car. However, by Faith – and faith alone – I am finally stepping into that car.
I have counted the cost of sacrifice and am willing to make it. A lot of things are going to be changing in my life over the next few weeks and months. However, I believe this is exactly where G-d wants me to be.
Time for a drive.
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