December

December is here. And what a December it is turning out to be…

I’m hoping there’s a bit of inspiration to be found at the bottom of the cup of coffee I just poured. It’s a Thursday in every sense of the word.

There’s a lot of buzz going on in my head about what the next year will hold. Yet, I’ve been grounding myself with the responsibilities of the monotonous day-to-day tasks that must be done in order for a brighter tomorrow to occur.

Tomato. Tomato. Falling together. Falling apart. Masterpiece. Disasterpiece. Tomato. Tomato.

Sometimes we put on our faces to the outside world. They’re such pretty faces; covered in the latest trends, fragrances, designer names, smiles, winks and laughs. Who are we when the mask comes off? Who am I when the door closes and the last visitor of the day leaves 1133? Excellent question.

There’s a deep part in me that is struggling to accept the transitions and positive changes that have been occurring at a rapid pace in my life. I blinked and found my entire life looked quite different than the moment it did before. Sitting in the presence of new faces, friends, places and experiences. None of the newness has been ‘worse’ than what used to be familiar. On the contrary, it is nothing but an upgrade. However, it is still new and doesn’t feel like home yet.

Somebody asked me why there was an undertone of sadness in my eyes in the pictures from the photos we took in NYC. Helluva observation. While every day continues to get better, there’s a deep part of me that feels unfulfilled, misunderstood and mentally isolated. Tomato. Tomato.

Featured Image From Deviantart