Born

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that were important to me as a child, and how I came to value things. As a child, I never cared much about things like getting a promotion, paying bills, having designer labels or a fast car in my garage.

As a child, I wasn’t concerned about whether or not I came across to others ‘as a man’ or was likable, popular or rich. I didn’t think about having a well-diversified stock portfolio, savings accounts or investments working while I slept.

Things felt simpler back then because they were simpler. I don’t ever remember feeling anxiety or depression, either. Rather, my mind was free because those concepts hadn’t yet been introduced into my life.

I think a lot of our adult lives are spent chasing tails that we weren’t born with. Read that again.

Whenever I spend time with Atlas, I notice the way that he views the world around him. He’s curious, excited to explore and doesn’t seem to have much of a timer for anything – because there’s no calendar telling him he needs to be at a certain place at a certain time.

As much as it can frustrate me, I think there’s a certain measure of beauty in watching Atlas take 90 minutes to finish a plate of food, or bring his apple to the bathtub. In many ways, this is the opposite way that I’ve found myself operating as an adult, where the clock is always ticking behind me.

When I watch Atlas, I see a younger version of myself. Often, this younger version is asking the older version to reevaluate myself and get my priorities in check.

Now that I’m older, I see a lot of value and beauty in the art of having a normal life. It feels incredible to stay on top of my laundry, pay bills and even clean a messy house with all of the right cleaning supplies built for the job.

Somewhere along the lines of being a child and becoming an adult, I listened to the lie that told me I wasn’t enough if I didn’t have X – or was driving Y. I felt like accomplishing certain things would somehow add to my value as a human being and perception from others. It didn’t.

A lot changes when you become a parent. The biggest change I’ve noticed has been…well, me.

The moment I became a parent, a lot of things became really clear to me. My priorities shifted from having things to focusing on being the highest and best version of myself – as well as parent. I lost an appetite for habits, pastimes and associations that don’t somehow make me a better person. I started to recognize the value of staying ahead of the curve with work instead of being crushed by a to-do list.