As a follow-up to my previous blog, I’d like to share a poem I recently received from a friend of mine, Peter, who lives on the streets of Portland.
Daily, Peter stands outside of Whole Foods, located in the Pearl District, and sells Street Roots newspapers to provide for his daily needs. On an average day, he requires about $20 to sustain himself.
On Christmas day, I invited Peter to join me for dinner. That evening, I learned a lot about him; how he lives on the streets, spiritual beliefs, and his testimony of being on heroin for nearly half a century. He’s been clean and sober for several years.
Recently, I went shopping for groceries and saw Peter standing at his usual spot. He didn’t have his usual cheer. So, I asked him how he was doing.
”Well, not so good. Somebody stole my bible.”
Living on the block, I quickly walked to my apartment and grabbed a bible for Peter.
Upon my return, he looked at the bible and said:
”This won’t do. I can’t read the print. I need a LARGE PRINT bible.”
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a $20 bill and gave it to Peter.
“This should get you a large print bible from Powells.”
Immediately, Peter packed his bag (containing all of his possessions) as he thanked me for the gift.
Before he left, he gave me this poem – which he asked me to “put on the internet.”
I’ve transposed the poem, which was written on 17 pieces of paper, as it was written.
Black Tar
By Peter, at the corner of Whole Foods in Portland’s Pearl district.
INTRODUCTION
1
Below the city lights were faintly sparkling
As the sun set on a grey, sleep day
The setting sun through broken clouds a gleaming
Lit up the dingy, dirty alleyway
Where searching for a tiny vein I lay
I searched my ankle and my swollen legs
My legs all filled with burning, shooting pain
I stood all day and painfully did beg
On a leg filled with lumps the size of eggs
2
Alone I wandered by the old, train tracks
And found a bag of torn and tattered clothes
A foreign flag on a background of black
Displayed a royal elephant of gold
The checkered tablecloth was torn and old
A pretty, pink and blue, embroidered blanket
On it a large and beautiful, pink rose
The pretty rose was covered all in shit
I threw the tattered rags into a ditch
3
I wandered aimlessly around about
The sky was clear. The moon was big and bright
In the clear, moonlit sky one lonely cloud
Lit by the city lights and by the moonlight
Hung glowing, motionless all through the night
I wrapped up warm and slept without a dream
I spent the chilly night on grassy heights
And at sunrise I heard the sirens scream
The morning sun made white mist rise like steam
4
I woke afloat on a white, ghostly sea
In milk white skies, trees spread above my eyes
The air was filled with cold. The air did freeze
As I crawled deep into my bag to hide
I did my WAKE UP!, rolled a joint, got high
And fell asleep, all day I lay in bed
And while the sun walked slowly through the sky
I slept and dreamt about the City Red
A cold and lonely City of the Dead
THE WIZARD
5
They yearn for live, would live, if live they could
Their wailing ghosts adrift throughout the town
Adrift past ruins made from rotted wood
Adrift past ruins where dead souls wander up and down
And wander frantically all around
In search of drugs or cash to kill their pain
And wail and make soft, whining, weeping sounds
And know that they have really gone insane
And pray for rain to cool their rotting brains
6
The Queen of City Red is one most fair
Each day we share our opium and tea
We sit outside in the warm, summer air
Her hair flows in waves, just like the sea
And brightly sparkles, like her jewelry
My lady wears a shining, golden crown
Her eyes are sad and deep and very green
As with a modest smile the Queen looks down
She gently strokes her beautiful, green gown
7
We lie where only sun and moon can see
Atop her castle’s keep, beneath the sky
The Queen of City Red loves only me
Her eyes are wide and her cheekbones are high
She sighs and then she smiles with wounded pride
And yet is sweet and kind and very fair
For she is brave and not afraid to die
And we go winding down a winding, marble stair
To our balcony in the upper air
8
Where we can see the whole, wide world around
The mountaintops and all the countryside
The weeping trees surround the blood red town
Beneath a glowing orange, sunlight sky
Their leaves turned black, bark cracked they moan and cry
Their dead, black leaves have fallen to the ground
While high in orange skies the lizards fly
With horrible cries and screams and shrieking sounds
To towers tall and white and red and round
9
The flying lizard has wings like a bat
The soar up high in the hot orange sky
The beast is meaner than an angry cat
It has sharp teeth and claws, red, hate filled eyes
When they go home to rest the whole flock flies
To bloody towers made from human bones
Where flying lizards roost and spend the night
On stacks of bones behind thick walls of stone
The castle of the evil wizard, Jones
10
He eats our flesh and bones. We live alone
Alone amidst the smoke of burning dreams
The wicked wizard is the Lord of Broken Homes
And he is Lord of Pain and Lord of Screams
The Lord of Filthy Lies and Sick Twisted Schemes
The forest was a pretty, peaceful park
The happy trees had leaves all bright and green
Their fruit was tasty. They had smooth, white bark
Their leaves turned black because he broke their hearts
11
Before he came the sky was clear and blue
And golden apples hung from laughing trees
And we were happy, brave, bold, free and new
The park was filled with grass, new mown and green
And filled with ponds and streams cool, clear and clean
The City Blue and Gold lit up the night
And all the people dreamed in their happy dreams
A City Blue and Gold a gleaming bright
A city built from marble smooth and white
12
He made the forest dreary, dead and dark
The frowning trees all crowd around and cry
Their bark is gnarled. Their eyes are cold and hard
The ponds and streams are gone. The ground is dry
The grass turned brown. The animals all died
The town of crumbling shacks is still and dead
In ruined streets, ghosts cry for black and white
And everyone is dead or else they fled
in the silent and empty City Red
13
Some say the wizard tumbled from the sky
Others that he was raised up from the sea
When he appeared we wailed with fear and cried
We knew forever broken we would be
In pain, anxiety and agony
Then from the void he called a hundred sprites
And with his tricks he set the demons free
And changed the sprites into a hundred knights
In armor shining white with banners bright
14
They ride on nightmares. They are fears and frights
That hide their faces in deepest, blackest dark
Their faces like skulls, their eyes a burning bright
They have breastplates of steel. Their swords are sharp
Ghosts tough as nails and cruel as a shark
So pray for summer rain to cool your brain
As the dark tears your mind and heart apart
And they will tell you what you have to pay
To make the evil wizard go away
THE BLACK
15
I cook the black in a spoon made for tea
And apply pressure to my tiny vein
Until it swells and I can see it bleed
I send heroine up into my brain
To heal my body and my soul from pain
And from my anxiety set me free
And wash the sky and make it blue again
And make the grass alive, new mown and green
Set free the weeping trees, make green the leaves
16
And wake the hungry ghosts up from the dead
Was clean their rotten world with summer rains
Turn blue and gold the rotted City Red
Wash clean our sickly, overheated brains
And set us free and make us kind and sane
And fill with water clean the ponds and streams
And give me back my hopes and dreams again
And make the City Blue and Gold all clean
And make the Forest Blue and Gold all green
17
All of the animals come back to live
The cheetahs, lions, rats, giraffes and bats
The gazelles and the elephants and mice
The mice and rats are not afraid of cats
The cats will never eat the mice or rats
The People feed them candy and ice cream
And kiss the bears and play on the giraffes
The animals are sweet and never mean
Their sunny says are filled with happy dreams
18
All of the flying lizards change to birds
Their horrid screams, their frightful curses and shrieks
Are turning into cheeps, coos, squawks and chirps
Of pigeons, gulls, sparrows and parakeets
That perch and sing on every laughing tree
Beneath a sky so sunny, bright and blue
A sky all filled with happy thoughts and dreams
My dreams of freedom, dreams of me and you
So very long ago when we were new
19
We stand atop a tower and look down
Into the valley where the river rolls
it rolls on past the happy park and town
Past old homes made of stone and ivory domes
Where tribal kings sit upon ancient thrones
Under bronze bridges all green with verdigris
On mountainsides no bloody stacks of bones
Just ancient towers, rotted old and green
Where future Buddhas sit and dream their dream
20
We wander all around the happy town
And people smile and look into our eyes
The love we feel for them gets passed around
We share our eyes, the dreams in our clear skies
There are no lies. We have nothing to hide
Nothing is wrong. No sins we need forgive
With everyone we share one love, one life
WE ask for life and love and life we give
We ask for love and give and life we live
21
She whispers in the breeze and dances on air
And shares sugar and honey with the bees
She talks to unicorns and grizzly bears
And sings to birds that perch on happy trees
On the soft, green lawns side by side we sleep
All day we lie together on the grass
My lady smiles so very peacefully
Because the pain has gone away at last
And all our troubles and our cares have passed
WHAT WE USED TO BE
22
The sky is filled with dreams a drifting by
My dreams of long ago, afloat like clouds
So far way a floating in the sky
My memories, once lost, that now are found
A drifting by so high above the ground
And yet they are so close, they fill my mind
The things we used to do, the sights, the sounds
And who I really am, so deep inside
The feelings so distant and hard to find
23
The streetlights shine through our bedroom window
In parallel, bright white and shadowed stripes
And we are torn to pieces by light and shadow
Dark stripes of shadow and white stripes of light
Her body is divided by light and night
She softly sighs, her mouth is open wide
And with her arms and legs she holds me tight
And when she sighs I sweetly die inside
Die slashed to pieces by our venetian blinds
24
We are so warm and safe in our big house
We lie atop her tower, beneath the sky
Above us the big, hot stars wheel about
The grinning moon has big, round, hungry eyes
I hear her shout and dance for exercise
Our room is dark except for long, thin stripes
Of bright sunlight. She plays in the backyard
And drives away in our fast shiny car
I so miss those things that no longer are
25
So like a god in my fast, shiny car
I walk the earth with giant, mile long strides
And dance with Shiva on the farthest stars
Just like a hawk in the grey, smokey sky
Above the galaxies I soar and dive
I am so fast, the other cars I pass
A fragile thing, just like a butterfly
I know that I will never crash
For, like a god, I will forever last
26
To town we go, to drink in all the bars
Our friends are there, all dressed in party clothes
We talk about our fine careers and cars
Our business sense and our large, stylish homes
And why the police cars all park in rows
We feel so strong and brave and know not fear
As we all pedal that big, wooden coach
And sing together songs of love and beer
I love to drink and have my good friends near
27
She wears a halter top and torn, black hose
For she is dressed to show off her tattoos
A purple orchid wrapped around a rose
Sylvester, Tweety Bird and Doctor Doom
We drink and dance in a dark, smoke filled room
And watch poor girls get naked and slide on poles
And purchase funny and obscene balloons
And watch hobos crouching in their holes
We throw them money and feed them Joe Joes
28
Cops come in a running and the drunks all shout
We gather all around to see the fight
Men scream with rage and fear and shots ring out
Our hearts all pound with excitement and fright
The night is filled with brightly flashing lights
The police throw the perpetrator down
The little, fat man struggles and then cries
As police grind his face into the ground
To entertain the happy, drunken crowd
THE MONSTERS
29
They ground him way down deep into the ground
Way down into the ground, into the pit
The angry crowd all ground him down, way down
into the pit, no one gets out of it
For black is cut with shit and hard, black grit
For once it was with only sugar cut
For spite, not profit it is cut with shit
To fill my blood with mood and filthy crud
Fill me with agony and rend my guts
30
For dirt and grit are mixed into the shit
That we inject into our tiny veins
Silt fine enough to through the needles fit
The microbes find whole worlds on tiny grains
With mountains, valleys, seas and wide, flat plains
In deep, dark caverns bacteria hide
And while the black is boiling, there they stay
In deep, dark caves the infection survives
In food rich blood the the monsters multiply
31
Around the grains of grit an abscess forms
An abscess filled with awful, burning pain
And from tiny grains of mud are monsters born
Abscess filled with awful burning pain
From tiny grains of mud are monsters born
Abscess after abscess and pain insane
She stabs them with penknives to make them drain
With nausea and fever the sickness grows
And still we will inject that shit again
The lizards chew her flesh, so sure, so slow
Until her body’s defenses start to go
32
With swollen purple limbs and wide, red pits
And numb with shock and broken with the strain
With one leg gone she pitifully limps
The faces like skulls with burning eyes insane
Have carried us away to houses of pain
To monsters that consume our flesh and blood
I feel its sharp claws crawling on my brain
Its eyes are like flame, its mouth drips poisoned mud
Like drops of rain in the warm, setting sun
33
As I awoke at the last light of day
Beneath the orange clouds the sun’s light shone
And brightly shining, sparkled in the rain
The sky was bathed in its soft, orange glow
And down below, the orange river flowed
As far away the streetlights faintly gleamed
I heard the big, black barges go loud and slow
The crows all cawed and the seagulls all screamed
Like flying monsters screaming in my dreams
Then the seagulls and crows all changed to lizards
And flew to the dark castle of the wizard
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