The world seems to stop a little every time I watch him take a breath. He’s not just a little child; he’s my son. Somehow cosmically part of me, which changes my own identity as an individual because I’m not longer just an I – but part of a we.
We see this plane through the limited window of time we’re given with our lives; the amount of breaths we have to take, heartbeats to rise and fall like sunrise and sunset.
It’s in this place that we learn one hard lesson; things change and aren’t meant to stay the same. Atlas isn’t meant to forever crawl, just as he isn’t meant to forever walk – as none of us are.
I feel this richness whenever we’re close. A warmth that goes beyond what my skin feels. It’s a glimpse into something so loving, wonderful and pure I struggle to put words to it.
The warmth instills a righteous fear in me, along with the kindness it brings. The wake-up call to provide, guide, support and encourage. It evokes a warrior spirit, which I will need to guide me through making healthier life choices.
I don’t feel like the same person I was only a short year ago. I feel like a Father. It has woken every doubt, fear and anxiety I thought possible. However, it has also brought with it the answers I need to face and conquer each of these temporary afflictions.
It startled me to think that Atlas looks to me for guidance, answers, protection, comfort and much more. As an adult, I feel as if I struggle to find these things myself. Yet, now I’m one of the people he seeks these things from.
It reminds me that nothing in life is perfect. Including me. I may not have all of the answers, or get things right all of the time. The important thing is to continue caring and try to learn from the mistakes, not matter how large or small.
I see Atlas as a beautiful blessing, and I want to help provide an incredible life experience for him filled with time, love and life experiences that help him become a loving, kind and capable human being as he grows older.
I hope he learns to see others with a heart of kindness and compassion. I hope he learns to see others as his equal, worthy of love and attention.
I hope he’s a champion for kids that are getting bullied; stepping in to say something when others go silent – or join in the bullying. I hope he’s proud of any black eye he earns when he stands up for others.
I hope he’s the person who makes a friend with somebody others won’t – or are embarrassed to talk to.
I hope that Atlas rises where I have fallen, and succeeds where I’ve failed.
I hope a lot of things for Atlas. The list could go on forever. Every moment with him is a chance to help these hopes become his reality, to set an example, and to be a parent that truly loves and shows up for their children.
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