Games

Dear ______ (That’s us),

I’ve been thinking about Us. That’s “Us” with a capital “U”. The story of us. How the fuck do I sum it up? Has it been perfect? Hardly. Any story with me in the center of it will never be anything less than a big smiling mess. But here’s what I know for sure. Our time in the sun has been a think of absolute fucking beauty. The nightmares, the hangovers, the fucking and the punching. The gorgeous shimmering insanity of this city of ours, where for years I’ve woke up, fucked up, said I was sorry, passed out and did it all over again. As a writer, I’m a sucker for happy endings. The guy gets the girl, she saves him from himself, fade to fucking black. As a guy who loves a girl, I realize there’s no such thing. There’s no sunset. There’s just now. And there’s just the two of us, which can be scary fucking ugly sometimes. 

But, if you close your eyes and listen for the whisper of your heart. If you simply keep trying and never, ever give up. No matter how many times you get it wrong. Until the beginning and end blur into something called “Until we meet again…”

That’s it. I didn’t really know how to finish it. Because it’s not over. And it’ll never be over as long as there’s you, there’s me, then there’s hope…and grace. 

Until the fucking wheels come off, baby. 

Hank Moody – Californication

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve watched the above scene from Californication. It’s been a lot. There’s something to be said of the power behind the words. There’s something to be said for the humanity in that simple moment where Hank pours out his heart to Karen. It’s beautiful.

I think each and every one of us comes to a point (or many points) where we see our lives for everything they are…and aren’t. As a culture, we love to hate on our own culture in a cannibalistic sort of way; throwing our favorite stereotypes, minorities, experiences, beliefs and upbringings under the bus. We find common ground in the things we don’t like and have the ability to discuss these topics for hours on end.

I’ve met a lot of people who tire of the ‘game’ but continue to play in it because it’s the latest trend.

It seems we’ve given up on love and passion in our society, save for our weekend trips to the movies. We’ve traded a mentality that believes in iron sharpening iron for a belief that finds it acceptable for two people to remain together, so long as they are capable of meeting the MVP (minimum viable product) for their relationships.

We’re taught, from the early age of being an infant, to simply ‘do what they say’ and follow the butt in front of us. Where is that getting us?

Even acts of charity have been watered down into bite-sized chunks. Our idea of helping those in need consists of clearing out the excess clothing in our closet and dropping it off to the local thrift store. We pat our backs. Smile. Do it all over again.

I don’t want my life to look like this.

I don’t want the greatest contribution of my life to be the number of items I’ve donated to Goodwill or by a chain of good-deed items that never really cost me anything other than a slice of convenience.

“You changed my life” is so much more powerful than a $337.75 tax credit for donating the items we pondered throwing in the dumpster.