Carnegie

Today, I had the opportunity to sit and chat with Atlas’s grandparents about life – before and after being a parent. The conversation made me reflect on my own journey as a man, father and son.

There’s a phrase I’ve heard often, which goes something like this:

”I run the race in front of me – with perseverance”

In my life, I’ve found that there’s a lot of reward that comes with difficulty and pushing through. Oftentimes, it isn’t the smarter, stronger or richer man that wins in the game of life – it’s the man that tries and doesn’t quit.

If you think about life through the lens of a Multiverse, it should make a lot of sense that our conscious choices in this universe have a ripple effect over all of the other possibilities happening in all other dimensions. The same applies for ‘trauma’ in our experience – those things transcend space and time…but that’s another topic for another blog.

I’ve had a lot of challenges in my life but not have been more all-encompassing than the role of being a Dad.

This biggest challenge of becoming a Dad is the transition you make from trying your best to have life figured out and getting it right, to realizing that you’re setting an example as a Dad – and the little things matter a lot, while the ‘big’ things don’t.

I look at this human experience a lot like a treasure hunt. There’s a long journey each of us have to take in our lives, and it’s filled with a lot of different challenges, problems and karmic knots we’re put down here to untangle.

One thing I’ve learned is ‘tools’ help you navigate life. A tool can be a team of people who work for you, but it can also be a way that you process your thoughts, emotions and life experiences.

For example, I recognized early on in my guitar playing that I’d never get good at guitar if I simply tried to play rock songs. I needed to play scales, finger exercises and fretboard marathons in order to play the way I hope to.

Tonight, I checked something off my bucket list as a Dad; I played Atlas a song on the guitar to put him to sleep. I played the introduction to a favorite TobyMac song (Irene) and Atlas dozed off to bed.

In life, there are a lot of tools that you pick up along the way. In this instance, taking the time to learn that song helped me put a toddler to sleep. It also helped me mentally unwind while I was playing – something every parent needs to do.

When I was younger, I remember taking saxophone lessons. My teacher, Andrew Waters, always called me “Chief” and it made me feel like I was important and cool. At the time, I was his best student and I wore that hat with pride.

Andrew always spoke highly about one mouthpiece for saxophone; the Meyer 5. Priced at around $75, it was a professional mouthpiece that he swore by.

I wanted a Meyer 5.

Fortunately in our household, musical instruments were on the top of the priority list when it came to expenditures my parents were willing to make. Football pads, less so. My parents bought me a Meyer 5.

I won’t ever forget the moment I played on that mouthpiece. It played like butter. In that moment, I had an understanding of what a difference the right instrument/accessory could make when it came to playing music. My old mouthpiece looked as clunky as a muffler after I played a 5.

That Tuesday afternoon, I remember calmly putting together my instrument as I sat down for my weekly lesson with Andrew.

“What’s that you got, over there?” He asked.

“A Meyer 5” I answered, with as cool of a tone as I could muster.

He looked at my and nodded silently with approval.

At that age, I wanted Andrew to take me seriously. And I took very seriously the fact that he called me his best student. It meant something to me to know that there was a ranking system in his book, and I had practiced my way to the top of it.

Andrew always told me one thing that stood out to me:

”Bert? Your Mama? Man, she’s a professional flute player and don’t let her tell you different.”

I looked differently at my Mom when Andrew told me that. For him to say that, I knew that he knew what he was talking about and I believed him.

Now, when I think about the years and hours my Mom played the flute, I think she went far beyond the realm of professional – she is a Master.

She dreamed of playing at Carnegie Hall, which has a capacity of 3,761 seats. When I count the number of people she has played for in our church, the number easily exceeds half a million…

Some of my fondest memories are of my Mom playing her flute while I fell asleep. She didn’t just play her flute, she prayed for her children while she played.

A lot of parents will turn on the TV and check out while their kids are falling asleep. Today, more than ever, I’m thankful that I had a Mom who stayed up and played, prayed and diligently watched over her children – and set the most incredible example to follow.